Don't ever really do this anymore

The title says it all, HHHHELLLLO..... I am here .... not really relevant but here...I am just at the bottom of the cliff or cave hiding from that big bad Internet thing. I am only writing this because I feel nostalgic or something, I have no clue what goes on in my head half time .. oh and the wife is out with work so I am sat here listening to music ( which I never do anymore at home unless you count the odd time listening to music on my headphones making dinner, that does not really count ). When I lived on my own years ago I would happily come home on an evening and listen to music all evening long, now I find we watch junk on TV just for the sake of it every night.  Anyhow I am listening to the Today FM tribute album to Tony Fenton "Whole Lotta Live",  it's a good listen and great showcase for Irish talent ( yeah who the heck do I think I am some Hotpress writer, showcase for Irish talent, Jesus wept). Sooooo ya Hello how you doing ( I promise I don't mean that to sound like Joey Tribbiani),  and I guess you ask me how am I doing too? right? Yeah here is the answer I give to everyone , "I am good ....good" I think I have become a person that never really delves much further than that, surface level Pete. Just as I write that last line my brain goes "eh you write this because you are feeling bored Will you know one reads blogs right and especially yours? I know I know" so yeah why are you still typing............. " Ok brain shut up and bear with me for a half hour while I try to mimic scrawl of thoughts in type. 

This blog is about baking and cooking and baking and cooking and baking and cooking, I couldn't resist repeating that, it's my blog. In reality I have zero interest anymore in baking ...anymore, cooking yes but more over just to keep myself and Joanne fed. It's mad how an interest can evaporate, I do however get bored very quickly. I remember my parents sending me off to do Taekwon Do as a kid, I was bored after two classes, like come on it was no Karate Kid and I was never gonna be Steven Seagal. I always joke with Joanne how she is the only thing in the world I have never got bored with and it is the truth ( that's not for brownie points, the tulips I got her last weekend are for the brownie points ). Back to my point I got bored of blogging, baking and cooking .... oooooooh and chuck Snapchat in too. I think I am coming into or unbeknownst me I am in a limbo of sorts right now with life. Waiting for a big next step, a hobby... job or something else, what that is I do not know, hey I might become a writer but maybe not (expect another blog post in 2 years).  Like last year .... was hectic to say the least, if I could forget 2015 and not go through that again I'd be a happy man. But then I think.. ok crazy years galvanise you, they make you stronger, make you feel that if you can get past a series of downs and still get back up you will keep weathering that shit storm that life keeps sending your way.  If I broke last year in to two halves I would have said the first half was definitely a bigger ball of shite in comparison to the second half of shite, that second half still had it's downs, between not being a 100% health wise (I am not on deaths door or I hope no where near it but yeah let's say not 100% that sounds right to me) oh oh and before I go any further I know I am using allot of these guys -> ()()( my bad. So ya dodgy health and then the joys of moving house right before Christmas... No Joys No Joys at all. 

I think actually in October I tried maybe to regain some baking interest through Snapchat and it worked people were watching my snaps, asking me questions mostly baking and it was cool talking with so many people. I think the highest I got to was maybe 1.5k views per snap, I owe a debt of gratitude for my views to my sister in law Karen (Lovelygirliebits) as she kept sending me viewers on the daily. When we moved however in late November something in me just I dunno... clicked, it was like someone had turned the switch off in my brain. I lost interest in Snapchat, lost interest in talking all things baking, In my mind I was done, case closed no more baking, no more questions. I also got a little weirded out ( I know weirded.. not a word ) by some people on Snapchat, like the time someone took me and Joanne's picture on the DART without us knowing, or that time someone sent me a snap calling me twat, you know just cause. Instances like that turn you off people not Snapchat but people and social media can be tricky mix. I can't remember where I heard this but social media is like a door, you can let people in if you want or you can lock that door up and keep them out. Life is like that too, I feel so often I do lock myself behind a door and hide away.  Hide away from talking about myself or hiding away from friends because I have lost touch them rather than the other way around, and the cycle goes on.

So right now I feel weirdly happy, I started writing this blog and I feel a happiness that I don't really get anymore as I don't blog about baking 24/7, filling up people's timelines with cake or recipes. I live in a bubble, an amazing bubble with Joanne but maybe I need to come back out of my bubble or open that door again to life more often. 

Will

I know realise the above blog means pretty much nothing, but it was great to clear my head.


Brownie Points 




Comments

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