Brother


A Big Brother is the first friend you will have,
he is also the first person to beat the crap out of you



The lights go off, the chilling music hits from my Grundig double tape deck his "Entrance music" blares through the house.... "DONG DONG DONG" and my brother comes in to the bedroom dressed like The Undertaker, he is wearing my old communion blazer and a trilby type hat my dad had. The Undertaker being a popular WWF wrestler in the 90's. I am already in the bedroom dressed like a normal person why would I being playing dress up at 14 years of age for god sake ... haha. The lights go on, Willstev Wrestling Federation is about to happen in our shared bedroom in our parents semi detached house in Limerick with every bloody creaky floor in the world. My mum is already telling us to calm it down upstairs, but to us both it was Madison Square Garden and she was a fan! We notoriously did this nearly every single night of the week, Steve is 4 years younger than me and all we did was row, argue, and throttle each other but when it came to wrestling we transformed into seasoned adversaries that had gone toe to toe night in night out for years, brought together by a mutual respect for each other when it came to beating the snot out of one another.



This Saturday afternoon was like no other, we jumped and leapt around our bedroom play acting with every move becoming more and more crazed. Then we had some sort of insane ( hair brained in reality ) idea to have Steve climb on top of this massive chest of drawers in the room. The idea was he would hit me with a flying elbow, it would be a thing of beauty. He scaled the tall chest of drawers like a billy goat on Everest.... he was ready... He flew high in to the air like a gazelle... it seemed like he hung in the air forever because time slowed right down. I caught him in mid air ... OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH SHIT, OH MAN WHAT WE ARE GONNA DO. An almighty thud echoed in the small bedroom, as I caught him I underestimated his weight and fell backwards on to the corner of the bed, and with my heavy overweight frame drove the bed through the floor. By now we were freaking out we had broken the floor, well I had but it was his idea to jump off a 4 foot chest of drawers, we were in this together even if I was the size of a house. I peeled the carpet back to see the damage, we had broken the floor board, we had actually broken the floor. We called our mum, expecting to be absolutely murdered, she took it well but she said "nevermind what I think your father is going to split ye in two".

We spent nearly an hour waiting for him to come home from work, I was beside myself, Steve the little git was not fussed he knew it was my head on the chopping block. My dad came through the front door with his usual greeting to my mum in his big Dutch accent "HALLLLLLLO" every weekend the same greeting, he always entered the house in good form, but Jesus we were about to bring him down in an instant. I took the lead "Dad .. we have something to show you upstairs"... "What Villllllem, I am just home can you give me a few minutes please", "Ah ok but you are gonna want to see this" " **** sake whaaaaaat". We went upstairs, what happened next we were not expecting... "HAHAHA WTF did you two eejits do". He was cool we totally didn't expect that reaction, the Willstev Wrestling Federation lived to see another day.

Me and my brother as kids were two messers, now I can't say too much because I need the real gems for his Wedding day in the Summer. I of course am his Best Man, like he was mine. As we have gotten older, the little fecker who I nearly threw down the stairs as a two month old baby ( yup you read that right), to which he threw my Batman watch down the stairs ( my communion present ) and my Sega Dreamcast, these occasional friends but long time enemies are now the best of the best mates. He gave me an easy time on my stag do even because he is nicer than me and nailed the wedding speech. I will return the favour, only this time I won't be nice, it is my wrestling foe and destroyer of Dreamcasts,  I will be giving him a right old time on his stag do, it's in the motherland after all, Amsterdam. I shall also go hell for leather on the wedding day speech, I cannot wait. 

Right now we are both in training for his wedding day, because we both admit to needing some weight lost. I feel also there is some sibling rivarly at play, he says he has lost x pounds this week and I return with my update, but he questions my weekly weight losses because my mum says I have lost less even though she lives 200kms away from me and he lords it up in return, the swine. We are also doing rival weight loss programmes, I am doing Weight Watchers and he is doing Slime World as I now call it, he is however doing his campaign of weight loss for a really meaningful reason....

To be continued by Steve , my brother.

Will






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