Wishing life away


Ooh, you're moving too fast and I don't think it's right
I'm not giving you my love tonight
Now, ooh, you're moving too fast
Better sit back, relax

The Artful Dodger - Movin' Too Fast



Today is one of those days where the smallest of things makes you think, holy shit where did the last 17 years ago. Do not get me wrong I love where my life is at, I have an awesome wife, a roof over of my head and a decent job, so I am beyond thankful from where I sit on my couch. It's just I have done a few things this weekend that have made me think a bit more about my childhood. You know the way you remember some vague things as you get older as to what you did when you were younger but when you actually work on something (namely my best man speech this weekend) it brings so much flooding back. I used to challenge my mum and dad when I was a kid as to what they remember of their childhood, and they would always say "Willem I really don't remember anymore, I have forgotten most of it". It is sad because I feel I am getting like that, I feel I have to unlock a vault in my brain to get to that information, as it is slowly becoming more blurred in my mind. I hate that because I am a person that has spent their entire life wishing their life away.

When I was teenager all I wanted was to be was an adult, watch 18' rated movies ( not the blue movie kind, I am talking Die Hard etc.), drink beer, go anywhere I want and do what I want.  I spent so long doing that I forget so much of my childhood and frankly it sucks. My childhood was normal nothing too out of the ordinary I have touched on other aspects of it on here before but my brother and I had good times despite killing each other or me killing him. There are times I long to be back outside my parents house playing football against my parents front gates or getting 30p off of my dad when he came home from work for sweets in the shop at top of the road. It would buy me a Smiley bar,  a Dan bar and a pack of Hubba Bubba.




My parents always worked hard to give us a great childhood, we were very lucky, and I know for a fact I didn't appreciate at the time, it only took me 20 odd years to do so because I am feeling nostalgic today. It was just how it was but now I can look back and think fuck I wish I slowed down for a minute and understood how to enjoy life without waiting for something more. It is still the same in fact, I have not changed, I am always looking toward the destination rather than the journey, I wish I could change this mentality of mine. This blog entry was brought on by sticking on YouTube this morning watching videos of the bands I used to love around 1999-2001, they were mostly Nu Metal. For the uninitiated, those bands would be Limp Bizkit, Korn, Linkin Park, Papa Roach and the list goes on. Before my brother went down his gangsta rap route (ha I make him sound like Eminem) we used to sit playing on the family pc of an evening listening / Kerrang on tv. 






If we had or have kids or even my nephew for that fact I will be telling him don't wish stuff away. Becoming an adult is great you can do so much but you lose the simplicity of being a child and there far more restrictions as an adult. I want to slow down because I feel I will be looking back in another 17 years with the exact same feelings and thoughts, and I will be the ripe old age of 49. So if you have any recommendations as to how to slow your life down in a good way please comment and let me know, I live in fear I will have wished my life away.











Comments

  1. I also keep thinking that time seems to be going really fast and I'd like it to slow down! I think the best think you can do is try to appreciate and live in the moment when you can!

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