We are here.
Even the biggest failure beats the hell out of never trying.
Jesus I have gotten bad again at the old writing. I know why though, it is because it seems like everything is blooming on these past 2 months. You know that feeling where you would love two weekends back to back of doing sod all, I dream of those at the moment. There is no let up either, don't get me wrong I love being busy it is great, it serves my mind very well. I have two weddings upcoming and our holidays, something of which for the first time in my life I have not been obsessing about, the holidays that is. Generally by now I have the case out on the bed semi packed, yeah I love packing the case well in advance, I am that special person. I digress though, it is not that I don't want to go on holiday but more so because I have not had a chance to think about it.
As a result of the busyness and the introduction of our podcast "Meet The Dekortes" ( < cheap plug) I have not had a chance to sit down and write anything of note. Especially when we have been covering so much in the podcasts. I can't believe we are up to episode 12 tonight, it seems like we only started yesterday but we are 2 months in and 12 pods later. I know Joanne is loving the podcasting but I am too, it is great for us as it allows us that 1 hour to literally sit down and process what we have done over the past week and in general just have a bit of stupid fun together. However if you did listen last week you will agree there was no fun on my behalf I was dying post my brother's stag do, primarily from tiredness as I drank very little booze as to be honest I just wanted to make sure my brother had a great time and I didn't get polluted drunk.
I thought though I wanted to basically say hello to everyone more than anything and give you a little teeny update on how we have been post the first 3 months of this year with the whole baby making stuff. Well some time ago I mentioned in another post we working with a product call Pre Conceive, it is meant to boost you with the vitamins and supplements needed for having babies from both the male and female side, I will link the post below. We started it back in March, taking the drink daily, the plan was to take it for 6 months and hopefully come out the other side pregnant. There was also the possibility of partaking in a case study but unfortunately due to unforseen circumstances on the company's side that did not go ahead, although I still think it is meant to later in the year. Any how that brings me to my point, when we heard the case study was not happening we decided "here hang on do we still want to keep taking this stuff", Pre Conceive that is. We sat down and talked it all through, we do a lot of that since we did our treatment. We came to the conclusion this was going to be our year off , in fact we had already agreed that back in January but we thought no harm in at least trying Pre Conceive. The fact is though our heart was no longer in it. That is the overarching thing our heart no matter how much we tried was no longer in the whole hoping and trying for a baby. We were and are spent.
Don't get me wrong since mid April we have discussed it a lot, we did a podcast even on the whole fertility treatment subject, I think we are both glad we did that podcast too as weirdly it was like we finally put it all to bed. Since April we talked about donor eggs and adoption, but we both were pretty much on the same page, it is simply not for us. There are plenty of folk out there who would make amazing adoptive parents or donor egg/sperm parents but we couldn't resolve it being something we wanted to do. We had planned on going to support sessions with NISIG but I can say there is nothing in this world better than when you can sit down with your partner and discuss what is going on in your head. I mean there is nothing to say you may ever be on the same page with him or her, but once you can understand each other it is an incredible thing. Thankfully however we could agree this was not a world for us.
Where does that leave us? It leaves us two happy people getting their lives back on track. These past 6 months, I know my mind and way of thinking is far better, I don't want to comment on Joanne too much but I do know she is similar to me mind wise. Yeah sure there are moments we have where we think "Wouldn't it be great if it had all worked" but then we think the opposite too. Some things in life are just not meant to be if that makes sense. Every day I think it gets easier to hear about friends or family having kids, we have let the feeling of wanting to be in that position go, not fully but maybe 70% of the way. I am overjoyed to be an uncle to my nephew, he is the craziest little person I have ever met, and Joanne also has a little niece or nephew on the way. We are Uncle Will and Auntie Joanne, there is nothing greater than that. We will of course still hope but now it is gonna have to happen naturally some how some way if it is to happen. No drugs, no vitamins, no supplements, no herbs, good old fashioned hope for the best.
We gave it a damn good go!
Post on Pre Conceive:
Podcast about fertility treatment: