Challenging myself

“You see a mousetrap; I see free cheese and a fucking challenge!”

Scroobius Pip

I cannot place the day or the time but something after turning 30 changed me. I remember a friend telling me once you turn 30 you stop giving a shit about what people think and say. You become more comfortable in your own skin, more willing to take a chance. Now let me state I have not just turned 30, that was 3 years ago but yeah that friend of mine was right, I am slowly coming around to this thought process. Don't get me wrong turning 30 did not just flick a light switch in my head but I am certainly becoming more and more comfortable about who I am , what I like and what I want to do. This year I feel is the first of my thirties that I am taking some chances and challenges for me.

The previous two years of my thirties were busy! busy trying to have babies and getting to grips with what it is like to be an actual adult. Unlike the old days, I don't believe becoming an adult happens anymore at the age of 21. There are a lot of people out there that have to become adults alot earlier in life through circumstance but there is our generation and the ones coming up that are becoming adults a lot later in life. In your 20's you have the best time, have great nights out, travel, go to college if you can and drink copious amounts of alcohol, you are still living free and easy. I led that life, do I miss it? not one bit. That chapter is closed, I am happy to be progressing in to my next part of life, in fact in my own head I have always seen life as 3 parts if you get to survive all. I don't know why I compartmentalise life but I see the first 30 years as Part 1, 30-60 years as Part 2 and then finally Part 3 the waiting room. It is wishful thinking on my part that a hypochondriac like me would think I would reach 90 years of age. I wake up every day with an ailment, my legs creak, I sound like my dad groaning while trying to get up off of the couch.  Do I want to be super healthy? dress like I am 22 ( well probably not cause back then I was wearing XXXL clothes), trying to cling on to my youth? I don't think so but that part I haven't figured out yet. I don't think I will ever be able to run, when I do my fillings hurt so running is definitely out.

I believer as you get more settled in to your thirties you are less inclined to take shit from people, be that in every day life in a work perspective or from family and friends. You become more self assured, in some instances that can be great but naturally self assurance can swiftly become arrogance and you don't want to really be that person either. I guess the key is not to be the door mat that everyone walks on. You have to be the adult that needs to be heard and not a yes person.  You have to express your thoughts and feelings on a subject. I also feel getting to your thirties allows you to start challenging yourself and your thought process. I certainly want to challenge myself more. 

I take snippets of quotes like this to heart, in the main I am against bollocky motivation. But like Casey Neistat's  quote "Do what you can't", these inspire me more than anything else.  

I have started that challenging myself more this year, I got back to writing firstly. I am not some one who believes in their ability to write, I want to write as another outlet of expression. I left writing on here for so long because the direction of my blog was one route, writing about restaurants and do recipes. I am not going to lie to you, I started this blog out in the hope I would get free restaurant invites or invited to cool food events. I got a few food event invites down through the years but nothing to write home about. My blog has moved on with me, it is completely different to how it begun. It is 7 years old this year with 600'000 views but I was a different me when I first started writing. I would have never imagined me spilling my inner thoughts on here like some of my recent posts, my blog has grown this year with me. Yeah I do take stints off but I do come back as I get to spill all when I want on here like a diary only for the world to see what way my mind is working. I write here for me and if you like it well that makes me happy as an added bonus.

Like the blog for so long I have searched for another outlet of expression and I think I have got it. One of the things I have loved doing this year is sitting down one night a week for an hour and talking to my best friend. No distractions, no phone, no tv just me and Joanne with some microphones. Doing our podcast has been one of the most enjoyable things I have ever done. I do it or we do it for us, even if we quit in the morning I know we could go back in 30 years and listen to each other just being us. We don't do it for monetary gain, we don't do it for notoriety, we do it as a record for our history. Why put it online then? Well we put it online so we can talk and have conversations with you, we want people to know what we are and who we are. Some people say they would love to be a hermit cut off from all humanity but with out people you do not get to experience the good and bad of life. Otherwise you become a human in a metal rocket all alone hurtling through space. We have a regular 100 or so listeners a week and that in itself is so uplifting to see people are listening to us. I feel we both can be ourselves and express how we feel. It has become our hobby and one we love. I remember wanting to become a baker like my dad, I asked him should I do it as it is my favourite hobby? "Willem being a baker is not a hobby it is my job to wake up at 3am every morning and work 10 hours, this is not my hobby".  I don't want my passions to ever become that.

Ever since I turned 30 I think I have gone from being an introvert to an extrovert. I remember having to do personality test when I joined Dell after leaving college, and the piece of paper said I was an introvert. I am not sure if it is possible but I feel I am becoming more and more extroverted, pieces of paper are just pieces of paper. Anyone can change and do a complete 180 on their life. I have 3 months left to do something different and challenge myself before 2018, and listen challenging yourself does not mean jumping out of a plane doing a skydive. Something as simple as saying hello to the person you pass in the street every morning is doing something different. My last challenge over the next few months is to learn something new or at least try to learn something new. For the longest time I have been fascinated with playing piano and at the end of the month I am going to start learning. Nothing amazing I know but its something I want to achieve between now and Christmas. In this life and what I have remaining, I am going to have challenges that challenge my ability as an adult to cope with, ones I have no control over but I also want to fill my life with challenges I can control and want to do. All these little things all add up to everything eventually, if that means, writing,  podcasting and learning to play an instrument I know I am on the right track.

Tomorrow's podcast will centre on this topic, so Joanne if you are reading this get thinking, you have 24 hours.. Kidding!

This was my first post on my blog back in January since March 2016 :

Thanks for reading